At a Certain Point It Becomes Hard to See the Beauty. But It’s Still There.
By Ethan Katz
I find myself mostly drawn to writing reviews and opinions pieces, I really love to consume and advise accordingly. I want the world to be full of beautiful art and talk about it all the time. But at a certain point, it becomes hard to always see the beauty — yes, it is always still there, but there is also a lot of real world immediate horror.
Find your people. Maybe they’re on here, or tumblr, or you’ve never met before, or you see each other every day. It doesn’t matter where they are, how close they live to you or how many miles apart, the people who stand by you day in and day out are still your people, your family.
When I was in middle school, I would never have believed I could have been as happy as I am today — even as I grapple with the world and try to fight for a better one and figure out how to exist as gloriously as possible in the meantime. When my friends, my family, the people I would grow to become would tell me how bright my future could be, there was just no way for me to believe them. Even today it is hard for me to see the path I took from 12 to 21. But I am here today, writing this article right now. So it must have not only been possible, but become reality.
It is a scary time. It seems like all the possibilities are being shut down — even the national LGBTQ+ suicide hotline. It’s hard, especially as a closeted person and/or a young person to figure out how to find your way in a world that seems to be closing exits and entrances as soon as they appear.
But there are other places — places and things that have been around the whole time if you knew where to look, and even places and things that will continue to pop up in response to the attempt to stifle our beauty.
If you are reading this, there is an indomitable light inside of you. The same light you see in others. No matter how many times people tell you no, or that you can’t, or that you won’t or that you shouldn’t — your queerness is sheer beauty and no one can take that beauty away from you. Hold on to it. Shield it. Nurture it. That light is the most beautiful thing in the world.
About the Author
Ethan Katz is third year at Oberlin College in Oberlin, OH, where he is studying creative writing & theater. He is grateful to have been introduced to the opportunity to write for Matthew’s Place through the Be a Friend Project.